so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
