capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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