yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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