Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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