So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
