You're my little dorito
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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