We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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