after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
