God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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