Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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