Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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