Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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