yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
