The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
