Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
