You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
