u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
