i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
