Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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