Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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