Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
