You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
