I think i peed on brittanys purse
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
