this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I have tasted many bathrooms
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
