I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
