Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize