I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
