wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
