This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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