Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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