Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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