If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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