If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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