I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
