I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
