OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
