Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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