went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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