the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
