Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
