We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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