I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
