party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
