this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
