So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
