The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
