So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
