so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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