absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
