You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
