I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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