i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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